Sweet Talk
by CodeNameZimbabwe
Summary: A prank gone wrong forces Ash to brush up on his sweet-talkin' skills...what little he has to begin with! xD....AAML oneshot.....Enjoy! :P


**_A/N_****_: _**_GAHHH! Yes, I am perfectly aware that I should be working on Yontouryuu….but….BUT….I WAS HAVING POKÉMON WITHDRAWAL OKAY?! I haven't written a Pokémon story in almost a year….and this idea popped into my head….so I wrote it….*sigh* I promise I'll get to work on Yontouryuu! I promise!!! ^^; Hehe…._

_Well anyway, this is dedicated to mi buena amiga, Alyss Ashworth! ;D Thanks for the awesome Mountain Dew story! Here's a random one for you too! =)_

~~(^^^)~~

"Sorry, Ash, but I'm not coming to your funeral."

The black-haired troublemaker snickered and flashed an innocent grin at his companion before slathering more honey on his victim's outstretched arm. "Who says I'm gonna die, Brock? You're always such a pesti….a pessa…..a pezzami…." he paused with a frown. "Well, anyway, your glass is always half full. Lighten up!"

Brock rolled his eyes. "If you're saying I'm a pessimist, Ash, then the glass would be half empty. Besides, I'm not a pessimist! If anything, I'm a realist!"

Ash shook his head, still grinning. "There ya go again, Brock! Jeez…."

The older boy raised an eyebrow. "Ash, I'm just trying to look out for your wellbeing. It'll be a sad day indeed when I must collapse into Officer Jenny's slender, loving arms, an emotional wreck, and have to explain to her the tragic tale of how my best friend was murdered by his secret crush! Love's fatal blow!" he said sorrowfully, striking a dramatic pose as his eyes shimmered.

"Now you're just talkin' crazy talk!" Ash said with a chuckle, though he couldn't help but furrow his brow at Brock's mention of a "secret crush". However, after racking his brain for all of two seconds, he shrugged it off as one of his squinty-eyed friend's love-drunk ramblings. Averting his attention back to his task, he drizzled one last line of honey before sitting back on his heels and proudly stating, "Done!"

Brock looked back and forth between his doomed friend and his self-proclaimed masterpiece. Misty was asleep in her sleeping bag, peacefully unaware that every exposed area of skin on her upper body had been coated in a sweet layer of sticky honey.

Ash could barely muffle his giggling as the morning sunlight glinted down on her skin, making the redhead look like some kind of strange candy person.

"Now, c'mere, Pikachu! Tickle her face so she'll slap at it and her hand'll get stuck!"

"Chuuuu! Pika!" The little yellow pokémon shook its head vigorously from side to side and scampered away to hide behind Brock's legs.

"Ah, you too?! You guys are no fun!" Ash cried with exasperation.

"Well, if you consider 'no fun' as being even a little bit intelligent and removing myself from the situation so that I can live to see another day, then yes! I'm no fun!" Brock said, crossing his arms. "She's gonna know it was you!"

Ash just smirked and, standing up, patted Brock on the shoulder reassuringly. "See, that's where you're wrong, Brocko. I've already got another plan worked up!" Tapping his temple, he held up the bottle of honey. "I'll just cover you and Pikachu with honey too! That way it'll look like some culprit came in the middle of the night and ambushed _everyone_!"

This comment earned a simultaneous facefault from both Brock and Pikachu. "Ash, then it'll be even _more_ obvious it was you! You'll be the only clean one!" replied the brown-haired teen.

"Then I'll cover myself too! No big deal!"

Brock shook his head with a sigh. "Wouldn't that kind of defeat the purpose?" he muttered.

Suddenly, before the future Pokémon Master could formulate a proper response, the bushes at the edge of the forest a few yards away began rustling. The boys turned, hands quivering over their pokéballs, ready to face the possible foe.

A tense second passed and the bushes shook again.

"Show yourself!!! Is that you, Team Rocket?" Brock called out, groaning inwardly at the thought of having to battle the bumbling trio so early in the morning. He jumped, startled, when Ash slapped a hand across his mouth from behind.

"_Shhh! Brock! You'll wake Misty up!_" he whispered harshly. However, after releasing his hold on Brock, Ash yelled, "GO AWAY, TEAM ROCKET! UNLESS YOU WANT PIKACHU TO THUNDERSHOCK YOU! WE'VE GOT HONEY TOO SO WATCH OUT!"

Ash's outburst warranted a similar tackle from Brock and the two began wrestling back and forth, trying to get the other to shut up.

Just then, as if to remind the boys of its presence, the bushes rustled again and a minute later, out tumbled a small butterfree.

"Huh?" Ash and Brock froze, Brock in the middle of giving Ash a painful noogie.

"A butterfree!" Ash cried excitedly, grinning from ear to ear, breaking free from Brock's hold.

Brock smiled too as the butterfly pokémon fluttered closer. "Wow! Butterfree hardly ever approach people in the wild! This is pretty cool!"

Ash nodded. "It is! It must have sensed my presence! I _am_ the Chosen One after---WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

The trainer's conceited rant was cut short by an electric shock courtesy of Pikachu, and he fell to the ground, clothes steaming. "Alright….I deserved that….." he mumbled tightly.

"Hey, maybe we should try to capture it!" Brock said, but he soon frowned. The butterfree was paying them no attention and was moving almost as if in a trance towards a certain sleeping redhead. "What's it……oh no!" Brock cried, hands reaching up to rake through his hair as he watched the unfolding scene.

Upon reaching Misty, it crawled directly on top of her and began licking up the honey on her arms.

"That is it!" Brock threw up his arms. "I'm out of here, Ash! Second she wakes up, it's just gonna be a frenzy of blood and dismembered limbs! _Your_ dismembered limbs! And I'm sorry but I do _not_ wanna be here to mop up afterwards!" he said, backing away slowly, Pikachu pulling a Mr. Mime and retreating in a similar fashion.

Ash, in the meantime, had gotten up and was trying to coax the butterfree away from Misty by shaking the bottle of honey back and forth. "Here, butterfree! Come to the Chosen One! I have more honey over here! You can have all of it if you just come away from the sleeping psychopath," he muttered, face growing more and more worried with each passing second the pokémon ignored him. He tried squirting a trail of honey on the ground to lure it away, but the butterfree still paid him no mind. "Urghhh, Brock, it's not working! What are we gonna---?"

He looked up to find that his reliable best friend, along with his favorite yellow partner, had abandoned him. He smacked his forehead before calling out, "You can forget that invite to see my mom over the summer, Brock! And Pikachu, you'll have to make your own ketchup out of….tomatoes….or something…cuz I'm never buying any for you ever again!"

Turning back to the butterfree with a grumble, his expression turned to one of sheer horror as the bug pokémon wiggled its way up to begin licking Misty's face.

Ash had never been one to fear death before, but the moment Misty's face twitched, he knew he was a goner. And he knew that he would not be dying a quiet or even heroic death, but rather an extremely painful, not to mention shameful, slow, torturous demise at the hands of the she-devil herself.

He cowered, arms coming up to shield his head in anticipation of the violence that was to come, but was surprised when none came. A second passed, and he risked a peek through his fingers.

Misty's face twitched again as the butterfree licked her, but she seemed to be……smiling. Ash lowered his arms completely and furrowed his brow. However, his eyes widened when Misty began mumbling something.

"Ash…." she began, giggling softly with her eyes closed. "Stop it! That tickles!"

Said-"tickler's" jaw dropped to the ground and his surprise came out as a choked, eloquent exclamation of "Ngaaaaaah?!"

"Ash," she said again, a dreamy expression crossing her face as she sleep-talked. "I really…like you…."

He just gaped, unable to gain control of his shock, staring at her in utter disbelief of what was occurring. A myriad of emotions raced through his small mind, struggling for power over his actions. He was relieved that she was still asleep, confused as to what she was saying, still somewhat afraid for his life, and strangely….overjoyed that he was the subject of her dreams.

He was….happy? Ash shook his head back and forth in an attempt to clear his mind. No, no, no, this was not the time. The fear won out, and he decided to try coaxing the pokémon away again, trying to ignore his now-sweating palms.

"C-Come on, butterfree! Come on! Leave her alone! I've got honey! _Honey_!" he whispered, flailing his arms around desperately as he tried to divert its attention.

He gulped, however, when Misty started talking again, and she let out another quiet giggle as the butterfree slurped honey off her nose. "Did you just call me 'honey', Ash?.....No one's ever called me that before! Want me to start calling you that too? Huh, Ash, honey?"

"Gah! No!" Ash twitched, panic washing over his features. "G-Go back to sleep! This is all a dream! You don't really like me! You can't! You hate me!!! That's why you always beat me up! Now _please _go back to sleep! Come on, stupid butterfree!"

But the butterfree stayed put and so did Misty's smile. "I beat you up _because_ I like you, Ash…….." She pulled her sleeping bag up higher, the honey from her hands sticking to the material. "I care about you….a lot….that's why….I never stopped….following you….." And with a contented sigh, she appeared to have fallen into a deep, speechless sleep once more.

Ash let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head. This couldn't be Misty talking. Maybe she was possessed by the spirit of some mushy, romantic……...person. But then again, he didn't think Misty Waterflower, the previously defined she-devil, would be one to let herself be taken over.

Whatever the situation though, the usually fearless Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town found himself absolutely terrified with the fact that his subconscious was secretly hoping she _wasn't_ possessed.

Despite everything, however, he knew that if Misty were to wake up with an oversized insect on her face, there'd be hell to pay. And so, Ash put on a brave face and crept forward ever so slightly on his knees, hands outstretched to snatch the butterfree off her face.

_Almost there, almostttt...._ he thought, and with a final surge of determination, he pounced, lunging forward in an attempt to grab it. However, the butterfree, startled by his attack, quickly took off and flew away with a loud, "Freeeeeeeee!" The momentum from the leap had Ash falling forward, and he found himself panicking as Misty's face loomed closer and closer to his. He flailed, arms reaching out to brace his fall, only to have them land on either side of Misty's head roughly. His arms buckled from the impact, and gravity lived up to its name, causing Ash's lips to collide with Misty's as he fell on top of her.

Misty's eyes shot open, and she jolted in surprise. Ash, completely mortified, tore away from her and scrambled backwards, blushing so hard he might as well have changed his name to 'Red'.

Misty sat up, eyes still wide with shock.

About three things she was absolutely positive. First, she was covered in honey. Second, there was a part of her, and she didn't know how dominant that part might be, that wanted to murder Ash Ketchum. And third, looking at the horrifically embarrassed, idiotic, raven-haired goofball before her, she knew she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.***

"Ash?" she asked quietly, voice eerily calm. "Did you slather me in honey while I was sleeping?"

"….Maybe…." he said, avoiding eye contact as he began casually backing away.

She nodded slowly. "And then did you…..kiss me?"

His face grew even redder. "I-I didn't mean to! You were talking a-and then----the butterfree! And I had to get---I fell---it was an accident! It'll never happen again, I promise!" he stammered, then with a nervous laugh and a sheepish grin, said, "But you tasted really sweet, honey!"

The impact of the mallet let him know just how much Misty cared.

~~(^^^)~~

**_A/N_****_: _**_Waaaaaaahahahaha love's fatal blow indeed! xD Don't worry, Misty didn't kill him! Just knocked him out for a few hours probably! =P _

_*** YES THIS WAS A TWILIGHT SPOOF MOMENT! Lol or whatever you wanna call it! I'm nottttt really a Twilight fan ^^; But I had first written the line "About three things she was absolutely sure." Then I was like, "GAH NO THAT SOUNDS LIKE TWILIGHTTTTT!!!" So I thought, WHAT THE HEY! I'LL JUST KEEP IT AND POKE SOME FUN WHILE I'M AT IT! Total thinking time, 0.2 seconds. =P_

_Hehe hope this story wasn't **too** random for ya! Thanks for reading! :D_


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